Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
