I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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