it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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