Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
