If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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