Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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