But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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