Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
