Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
