she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
