I want to stick my p in your. b.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
