just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
