I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
