He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
