Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
