Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
