we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No stitches, just platelets and will power
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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