I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Loading more great texts...