So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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