I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
