So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
