Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
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Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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