so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
