Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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