god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
