I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
