if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
