Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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