If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
