dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
