I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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