I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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