We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
