Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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