is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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