Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
