Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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