How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
