About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
