Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
