My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
