Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
