you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
