somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
