Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
