There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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