She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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