i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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