Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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