sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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