I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
