What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
