Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
