would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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