Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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