dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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