That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
