I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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