so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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