OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
now i know why i became what i already was.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
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Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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