4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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