Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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